I’m not going to lie I’ve had a bit of a hard time writing blog posts these past two weeks. Last week I couldn’t even manage to get one up and today I’ve spent the past 40 minutes staring at my computer screen typing half-formed vague sentences and then deleting them.
That’s kind of how all of my thoughts have been these past two weeks, half-formed and vague, as if the the radio signal is weak and fuzzy. I just can’t seem to get a clear grasp on what my soul is thinking and feeling.
Most people tell me that I should be careful about not getting too personal on my blog…but I don’t know it seems like a blog is the perfect place to get personal. I mean who takes the time to read a blog post thinking “gee, I hope I learn nothing interesting about this individual and gain no insight into their life whatsoever!”.
So I wanted to get real with you guys. I’m lost. I don’t mean literally lost (although that does happen too on occasion) I mean figuratively.
I had a conversation with my friend the other day and I said to him, “you know, I don’t really know who I am right now”. Sounds angsty and dramatic I know, but it’s true. Time moves forward, things change, you grow and mature, and before you know it the things that seemed so concretely true to you before…just don’t anymore.
Everything seems weird and foreign to me for some reason. I don’t like the clothes I used to wear, old habits and opinions seem weird, even basic things like talking! When I talk it’s like the words coming out of my mouth are being spoken by somebody else.
The most bizarre part of it though is that I don’t mind feeling lost, actually I welcome it. It means that a new exciting chapter is coming, new life experiences and adventures.
I get to see life through a different point of view. Right now I feel lost, but I also feel unlimited. I have no old labels to hold me back or stand in my way. This haze has taught me that labels and definitions are limiting. Why live life limited (alliteration anyone? 😉 haha sorry). It’s like willingly putting an obstacle in your path and I have been doing that over and over again my whole life!
So I am grateful for this period in my life, because through the haze I can see that the world is full of possibility. I am full of possibility.
On to new adventures 🙂
~Light, Love, and Joy~